So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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