Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
