Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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