Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize