OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
