My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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