You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's the barista slut.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
