and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
