I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
