i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Two words: nipple clamps
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