They should really pass out barf bags in church
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
