1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
