if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
