I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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