I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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