Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
