I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i drank out of a bidet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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