i think my mom watched the whole time
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
