My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
