you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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