Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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