I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she peed on how many people?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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