I just saw a hot homeless man
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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