Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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