Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
