I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
