i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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