Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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