pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just pynch a tree in the face
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize