I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've created a new STD.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize