So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
