Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize