dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
