i jhust puked up my retainher.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
