i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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