some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize