I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
