i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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