I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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