I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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