Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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