I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
