We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
