I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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