Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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