Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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