hotel room ftw
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize