my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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