we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Enjoy the penises
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
