I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
did i walk over a car last night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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