I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize