That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
