is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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