Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize