youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
