woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
