I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I enjoy the company of your penis
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
